I think I sunburnt my gentle white skin today.
Speaking of my whiteness - have you ever consciously looked at your skin & all the experiences that your tones bring to you?
For the month of February, I have.
Racism & social justice are very important subjects to my heart; in university I dedicated about a year digging deep into African American history & the Psychology of Social Justice. I became aware of my white privilege and all it affords me. I had many private talks with my professors, fellow classmates, & read everything I could. I dreamed about the inequalities systemic in Western colonization & my part in the puzzle. I vowed to always be an ally to Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC).
However, my perfectionism & white exceptionalism kept me from going deeper into my own conditioning. I was a far cry away from recognizing my own racial biases & how imprinted I am.
I devoted this month to diving deeper in.
It definitely takes a lot of spaciousness to look at this part of our inheritance, whatever your heritage. Racial divide is systemic & embedded so deeply into the West that it requires sharp eyes to see & loud voices to call it out.
Today I feel the depth of spaciousness that my nervous system has gives me the opportunity to consciously create the world I desire to live in.
That world includes beings of all shapes, forms, colors, & creeds being love, light & free. In order to make sure that world comes to fruition & into my real life experience, I must uncover what is blocking me from empowering that to become.
Untangling my systemic racial conditioning requires focus, so I scheduled time every other day to do the work on my own, and set weekly meetings with a sister who also committed to doing the work. Like this I had personal/internal & external motivation, as well as support for expressing what was coming up.
I've realized how subtle my conditioning effects me & what residues of my overtly racist ancestors remained. I've never considered myself as racist, and yet discovered windows of opportunity to become even less judgmental & more conscious of how my mind attaches to my way being the best way.
There have been many uncomfortable moments, ahas, & pure grief as I realize what my energy has been feeding.
As always, my primary mode for transformation of what I uncover is Imagery & dreamwork. My dreaming images have shown me truths I couldn't imagine & ancestral happenings that I cannot unsee. It has shown me where I stood silent & where I spoke up.
This month has also shown me lots of beauty in our world's conscious evolution & sparked more conversations about race & personal experiences of it than ever before in my life.
The work continues &I invite you to join in.
I use Layla Saad's workbook as introductory guide & highly recommend the download.
I'd LOVE to hear from You on this- wherever you are in your journey.
***
What does 'race' mean to you?
Have you experienced or witnessed racism in action?
What have you done in the face of your own bias?
***
It isn't always easy, while the answer is always LOVE.
Much love & infinite sunshine,
xxoo
Lindsey