I think I sunburnt my gentle white skin today.
Speaking of my whiteness - have you ever consciously looked at your skin & all the experiences that your tones bring to you?
For the month of February, I have.
Racism & social justice are very important subjects to my heart; in university I dedicated about a year digging deep into African American history & the Psychology of Social Justice. I became aware of my white privilege and all it affords me. I had many private talks with my professors, fellow classmates, & read everything I could. I dreamed about the inequalities systemic in Western colonization & my part in the puzzle. I vowed to always be an ally to Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC).
However, my perfectionism & white exceptionalism kept me from going deeper into my own conditioning. I was a far cry away from recognizing my own racial biases & how imprinted I am.
I devoted this month to diving deeper in.
It definitely takes a lot of spaciousness to look at this part of our inheritance, whatever your heritage. Racial divide is systemic & embedded so deeply into the West that it requires sharp eyes to see & loud voices to call it out.
Today I feel the depth of spaciousness that my nervous system has gives me the opportunity to consciously create the world I desire to live in.
That world includes beings of all shapes, forms, colors, & creeds being love, light & free. In order to make sure that world comes to fruition & into my real life experience, I must uncover what is blocking me from empowering that to become.
Untangling my systemic racial conditioning requires focus, so I scheduled time every other day to do the work on my own, and set weekly meetings with a sister who also committed to doing the work. Like this I had personal/internal & external motivation, as well as support for expressing what was coming up.
I've realized how subtle my conditioning effects me & what residues of my overtly racist ancestors remained. I've never considered myself as racist, and yet discovered windows of opportunity to become even less judgmental & more conscious of how my mind attaches to my way being the best way.
There have been many uncomfortable moments, ahas, & pure grief as I realize what my energy has been feeding.
As always, my primary mode for transformation of what I uncover is Imagery & dreamwork. My dreaming images have shown me truths I couldn't imagine & ancestral happenings that I cannot unsee. It has shown me where I stood silent & where I spoke up.
This month has also shown me lots of beauty in our world's conscious evolution & sparked more conversations about race & personal experiences of it than ever before in my life.
The work continues &I invite you to join in.
I use Layla Saad's workbook as introductory guide & highly recommend the download.
I'd LOVE to hear from You on this- wherever you are in your journey.
What does 'race' mean to you?
Have you experienced or witnessed racism in action?
What have you done in the face of your own bias?
It isn't always easy, while the answer is always LOVE.
Much love & infinite sunshine,