In reflection of Mother’s Day I brushed up on one of my informative sources for my Self & my clients. “The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize & Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect” by Jasmin Lee Cori. Today’s post is in reflection of her work.
Self-Mothering, a radical choice in a performance driven, action orientated culture.
Were you under-mothered?
What does under-mothered mean? You may ponder… It is a fancy term psychologists developed to signify those of us who were not mothered enough. When I say enough - I’m talking about above & beyond the basic physical needs being met, but our emotional & primal needs for love & recognition, encouragement & celebration to name a few. Clearly you are alive & survived, so someone did their very best. The question remains - was it enough for your heart & Soul to flourish?
Is it time for you to take up your responsibility & more fiercely mother your Self?
If you, like I, were undermothered, some signs may include : high levels of anxiety & fear, lack of self-autonomy, low self-esteem, low confidence, fast/rapid eating habits, difficulties around food nourishment in general, critical self-talk, no boundaries, disconnection from personal desires, unable to recognize or meet one’s needs, emotional rigidity, low self-worth, feeling unseen, unable to express or distinguish between emotions, general messiness (inside & outside) and the list goes on… As I’m sure your imagination can continue it ;)
The beauty of this inquiry is that regardless of your circumstances, you can turn it all around. This is your dream, your life, your experience, and you can rewrite it however you please.
When I was 28yrs old I finally hit the age that I heard all of my friends speaking about for years. I’ve tended to always hang with an older crowd, and for almost a decade I’ve heard from various friends about this moment of biological urgency to procreate. I thought they were all insane & exaggerating, until it hit me too.
I made a very conscious decision one day while observing this primal mothering desire, and I directed all of that energy within. I pulled it all into every cell of my being & promised to firefly mother myself before consciously deciding to co-create another.
That was one of the most POWERFUL decisions I’ve ever made. It led me on a path that has taken so many turns I can’t count, cost 10’s of thousands of Euros in multiple currencies, and has led me to being more of who I am today.
What is it like to Self-Mother? Well, it is a life long apprenticeship, as any serious journey truly is, and it is the most worthy of endeavors to undertake.
Self-Mothering is a daily habit. It requires daily attention, because guess what - you are alive & you deserve that attention!
Self-mothering is about pausing & listening to your sweet & gentle heart’s stirrings, it’s about forgoing the glass of wine & choosing to move your body around & into expression. It’s about being vulnerable with your Self, to your Self, and allowing yourself to be seen in the process. It’s about compassion, deep full Earth shattering false mask dissolving life altering compassion that melts all the illusions you’ve held on to for far too long.
Self-Mothering is about You giving to You, and opening up to receive from the Divine in the process.
Self-Mothering is the most beautiful gift you can give your Self, your partner, your children, your future children, your projects, your animals, your community, and our Earth. Self-Mothering is choosing to love again, and again and again. Because you are worth it, and it’s what we are all here to do.
Sending you so much love from the depths of my womb.
Ps. If you are ready to take your Self-Mothering game to a whole new level, let's co-create your personal 90 day Transformation Program. Let's have a chat today!