Have you ever felt like you’ve lived 500 lives? Maybe you remember being devoted to the Goddess before. Maybe you get deja vu when you walk on a trail in the woods and see a circle of stones. Maybe you can feel that twinge in your body that makes you afraid to own that. That feeling of it’s not safe. Maybe your body remembers being killed for this devotion.
I know I do.
I remember many lives lived in love and devotion to the Earth and to the Goddess. Some memories being ecstasy, others a contraction, a fear, a something I can’t put my finger on that shaped how I lived here and now.
Through dreamwork I’ve been able to clear much of the fear, express the pain, and stand tall in the knowing of my truth today, and everyday.
Through consciously engaging with sensuality and sexuality as nourishment I’ve been able to free my expression, cultivate vitality, and celebrate my female forms.
And so can you.
We all can.
I believe wholeheartedly that we’re here to embody the fullness of who we are, that the Divine Mother is seeking to be remembered on the planet and is coming through our female forms to do so. I am an embodiment of Her, just as You are, and will continue to be more & more as we dance our paths for the benefit of all beings.
Here’s a little bit about how I got here…
I chose to incarnate through two incredibly powerful humans, my mother & father, who loved each other as much as they were able. They wanted more for me than they had for themselves, this I know.
Though I was conceived in Love, shortly after my birth their partnership devolved. Unable to meet the tensions & desperate repair needed, they divorced before I was one. My first few years were fraught with insecurity and drastic movements. My father eventually took sole custody of me. The same year that he remarried and had another daughter, my own mother died of a drug overdose. I was only 5 and felt like I needed to grow up and take care of myself immediately; in many ways I did.
I turned to Nature for my nurturance, and to my dreaming & imagination for connection.
My soul chose this path as the perfect set up for who I have become & am becoming.
I began using drugs and alcohol at the age of 12. The only tools I saw being modeled to cope with the emotional overload that was my life experience was either to control or numb; I did both expertly.
At 16 I fell in love with someone who was basically sober, which was a revelation and sparked my own Self reflection.
A few months later, in heated anger my dad told me to leave our home, so I did. When I went home two days later to retrieve my geometry book, I discovered that he had already changed all the door locks. I felt heartbroken and betrayed.
Shortly after I had penetrative sex for the first time, discovering a new drug: orgasmic love. It was easy for me to feel pleasure, to explore. Our sexual experiences were about us both, purely consensual and fun.
Within six months my heart rapidly closed and calcified, the pain of living not having a home too much to feel.
Once pleasurable and loving, sex became placid and Desire left, not just my bed, but my life…
HEALING & INTEGRATION
After early independence and years of just surviving, I woke up one day to realize I was miserable. I received the grand shock of my older brother's death and realized what my life was truly like at that moment. I had stockpiles of sadness & un-faced shadows, inherited alcoholism & drug dabbling that I was using to escape my broken heart. I was overworking, stressed, anxious, and feeling alone even when surrounded by people I supposedly loved.
What could I do?
I began taking responsibility for myself & decided to rewrite my story.
It was 2012 when, while meditating one day, I saw an image of Australia. The next morning I saw a ‘study abroad in Australia’ poster on campus. I followed that living dream, and went to AU.
The leap of faith required to go was immense; I felt afraid, constantly was second guessing myself, and a couple times almost didn’t finish the visa process. However, the dream was stronger. As soon as I landed in Australia synchronicity took over.
While at a Vipassana 10 day silent retreat in the mystical Blue Mountains I had a breakthrough. I literally felt myself energetically repairing my personal Source connection and began to hear voices of cheering support. My entire unseen/seen guidance group was thrilled to have me in conscious connection again; I felt a visceral remembrance of being loved and held throughout my childhood, and I wondered if I was simply losing my mind.
A shamanic practitioner appeared on my pathway shortly after and I began to dream more consciously. I learned how to clean my energy, do soul retrievals, plant seeds for creating, and do the same for others. Finally all the books I had read about years early were becoming a living, breathing Life experience.
I felt like my world was disintegrating to reintegrate. What was my path?
A waking dream guided me to the center of AU to visit the sacred lands of Uluru. While staying at a hostel, I woke up to a dream telling me I'd meet someone important over coffee. I went downstairs at 5am to have breakfast before going on the organized group adventure to Uluru, and met my beloved while drinking coffee.
The day he returned home to Belgium and I stayed inAustralia I said 'Goodbye I don't believe in long distance relationships.' I was guarded against Love and thought I’d surely never see him again. Life had other plans.
At one point I tried to ignore his calls, only to have a vision of my two angels coming to me again - one with a coffee cup in hand and the other with a phone. Unified, they said “Call Him.” All of my dreams and inner images showed me I needed to open my heart and learn how to Love, and that it was Him.
After four months apart, I moved to Belgium. Another new land, and there’s no way I could have planned for what was next…
It was a culture shock of sorts for this American to be such an outsider in Belgium, not speaking any of the three languages of the country, and to be in the old dense energy of Europe. Luckily, I am a devotee to being a student of Life.
I studied & learned French (Oui, je parle français couramment, suffisament pour que je travaille aussi en le parlant), while at the same time dove deep with the Dream, as my teacher, Dr. Catherine Shainberg, found me.
I began my studies with Catherine, imagery virtuoso that she is, in 2014; she provided a framework to the dreaming that I’ve always been connected with. Catherine supported me in building a firm ground, strong embodiment.
I devoted myself to the work of becoming Lindsey Curtis, beyond trauma identification and conditioning, and to the restoration of the forgotten language of Dream. Daily I devoted to reparenting my Self, and accepting my life experiences as experiences, no longer allowing them to define my being.
I soaked up the ancient wisdom within this lineage of the Kabbalah of Light & actively studied and apprenticed with Catherine and the School of Images until 2021. I am certified in the Saphire practice® & DreamBirth®.
What I love most about this work is that the Truth of each individual's Soul is revealed, through night dreams & waking images.
There is no one path for all, even as we can all be on the path of Love.
What started off fiery and passionate with my beloved eventually became stagnant and avoidant. The level of safety that we had developed in our relationship allowed for the space of my own limitations & past experiences to be remembered.
I was confronted with my own sensual rigidities and numbness, unhealed sexual traumas from my early twenties, & the intensity of feeling unsafe within my own body. A friend shared with me her radical feminine yoga practice, and I had the first tinglings of an energetic full body orgasm. For a second, I felt my aliveness again and devoted my Self to reclaiming more.
My embodiment practices radically transformed into being reverent of my female form, fine tuning how & what actually nourishes these curves and emotional sensitivities. I learned how to express what is moving through me and release the deeply held self-silencing tendencies. I returned to alignment with my own natural rhythm.
Respecting Life as it flows through me continues to gently awaken my orgasmic bliss capacities. My sensual/sexual Self continues to expand in sovereignty & safety.
The healing of experiencing multiple sexual violations taught me oceanic compassion, fierce boundaries, and an embodied understanding of the complexity of the human experience, especially the female's experience throughout time space.
I’ve come to accept and own that Sex is my medicine, just as much as Dream is.
Sitting in the space of feeling the paradox of Life is my artistry.
After communicating with the souls of our babes for 4 years, we chose to consciously conceive and welcome our son in.
I am the Mama of a light & powerful boy named Izaya born at home in 2020, straight into his father's and my hands. The birth was ecstatic, blissful, orgasmic, healing, traumatic, integrative, and the most otherworldly & Earthly human experience.
Becoming parents pushed my beloved and I to the edges of our edges, until we came to a place of choosing even greater Love & Devotion.
To celebrate and seal each of our integrated inner unions, and the Truth of our Divine Union together, in 2023 we personally designed and held an incredibly authentic wedding ceremony. To date it was the most completely harmonious day of our lives.
We are currently in contact and negotiating our second baby’s divinely timed welcoming.
I’ve transformed the darkest of the dark into orgasmic light creating life.
That’s a snapshot of the multidimensionality that I am. Very Human, and equally Divine.
Life organically moves us towards Love & harmony. It isn’t a linear process; it’s seasonal, spiraling, vertical, multidirectional and multidimensional. I’m here to hold a torch and walk right alongside You for the twists and the turns.
Are you ready to create your heart's dreams & deepest desires?
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